| 1d85 | Result | Result |
|---|---|---|
1 |
Yoga |
Bends like a rogue spreadsheet and is immune to cubicle compression traps |
2 |
Tattoo artistry |
Can ink protective sigils directly onto skin during short rests |
3 |
Knife collecting |
Always has at least one enchanted letter opener on hand |
4 |
Interior design |
Rearranges cubicles into defensive formations or sigil-enhancing feng shui |
5 |
Journaling |
Maintains a chronicle immune to memory-wipe enchantments |
6 |
3D printing |
Fabricates magical office tools using plastic filament and arcane STL files |
7 |
Genealogy research |
Identifies cursed family names hidden in the employee directory |
8 |
Coding retro games |
Builds self-contained logic loops that trap rogue AI in nostalgic mini-worlds |
9 |
Leatherworking |
Creates reinforced badge holsters and document-binding grimoires |
10 |
Amateur astronomy |
Spots timing patterns in overhead fluorescent star charts for dimensional alignment |
11 |
Indoor plant care |
Brews potions from janitor closet moss and talks down hostile vine spirits |
12 |
Fanfiction writing |
Accidentally writes canon into reality and gains narrative immunity |
13 |
Streaming/Let's Plays |
Replays reality on delay to exploit cause-and-effect for dungeon puzzles |
14 |
Calligraphy |
Draws perfect runes that pass HR sigil compliance audits |
15 |
Flower Arrangement |
Potion Ingredient Specialist and Living Arcane Array Specialist |
16 |
Speedrunning |
Knows every exploit in the layout of Office Floor Zeta |
17 |
Spelunking |
Isn’t fazed by ventilation shaft descents or sub-basement elevator rituals |
18 |
Baking sourdough |
Feeds living office yeast cultures that grant temporary buffs or insight |
19 |
Fantasy football |
Interprets cryptic stats from fantasy leagues to predict upcoming office conflicts |
20 |
Resolve: {Magic: The Gathering|Pokemon Card Game|Digimon Card Game|Obscure Competitive Card Collecting Role Playing Games} |
Understands layered spell interactions and artifact synergy in real-world combat |
21 |
Home security systems |
Bypasses magical surveillance loops and reconfigures haunted badge readers |
22 |
HAM Radio |
Communication and Radio |
23 |
Makeup artistry |
Uses glamours to bypass identity-lock systems and confuse sentient ID scanners |
24 |
ASMR recording |
Soothes hostile cubicle spirits with binaural whispering and keyboard tapping |
25 |
Fencing (sport) |
Masters the lost art of parry-and-shred against haunted papercutters |
26 |
Slackline Walking |
Excellent Balance |
27 |
Urban beekeeping |
Can sense vibrations through walls and calm swarms of paper wasps in the HR Nest |
28 |
Lockpicking |
Used to bypass magically jammed file drawers and locked copier access panels |
29-30 |
Competitive escape rooms |
Treats every maze-like supply corridor as a solvable puzzle not a trap |
31 |
LARPing |
Already owns padded armor speaks in arcane legalese and knows how to monologue before battle |
32 |
Speedcubing |
Can solve eldritch Rubik security locks before the toner beasts arrive |
33 |
Geocaching |
Recognizes the scent of hidden caches in breakroom walls and vents |
34-35 |
Digital art commissions |
Wields cursed styluses to draw sigils that shouldn't exist in vector format |
36 |
Podcasting |
Uses wireless mics to record forbidden lore and distract the Audit Wraiths with sound loops |
37 |
Language learning |
Knows just enough dead tongues to placate the Office Printer Spirit |
38 |
Home brewing |
Alchemizes curative cold brew potions from breakroom ingredients |
39 |
Miniature painting |
Can detect detail-level flaws in illusory spaces and animate tiny intern golems |
40 |
Urban exploration |
Has maps of every floor not in the building’s blueprints |
41 |
Online arguing |
Has a passive buff to resisting psychological attacks and gaslight illusions |
42 |
Thrift flipping |
Spots magical value in cursed staplers and revenant fax machines |
43 |
True crime obsession |
Can mentally reconstruct the timeline of a haunted PowerPoint incident |
44 |
Mechanical keyboard modding |
Can rebuild input runes mid-combat and types incantations faster than speech |
45 |
Competitive typing |
Shreds through bureaucracy and summons memos as cutting projectiles |
46 |
Birdwatching |
Notices winged cubicle beasts before they strike from overhead |
47 |
DIY home repair |
Jury-rigs magical doors and weaponizes broken ergonomic chairs |
48 |
Amatuer Math / Logic Theorist |
Knows how to phrase commands that confuse sentient legacy code |
49 |
Foraging |
Identifies edible printer fungus and avoids hallucination-inducing energy drinks |
50 |
Parkour |
Moves seamlessly over office furniture traps and between cubicles mid-chase |
51 |
Online sleuthing |
Pieces together hidden HR prophecies from recovered calendar scraps |
52 |
Board game design |
Intuitively understands the logic of dungeon room layouts and randomized danger cycles |
53 |
VR gaming |
Is used to shifting realities and can navigate illusion-based cubicle mazes without disorientation |
54 |
Gym Mat Practice |
Subdues rogue interns and chair beasts without leaving a mark |
55 |
Competitive coding |
Solves logic traps mid-combat and reprograms elevator puzzles under fire |
56 |
Speed reading |
Absorbs entire cursed documents before they can infect cognitive patterns |
57 |
DJing |
Remixes auditory sigils to neutralize alarm glyphs and energize allies |
58 |
Dumpster diving |
Always finds functional relics in condemned breakrooms and forgotten storage closets |
59 |
Art Restoration |
Erases cursed marks left by HR inquisitors and memory rebrandings |
60 |
Candle making |
Crafts personalized ritual lights that reveal hidden text or dispel shadow anomalies |
61 |
Puzzle box collecting |
Unlocks forgotten departments sealed since the 1987 restructuring |
62 |
Sci-fi model kit building |
Instinctively assembles found components into functioning drone familiars |
63 |
Shoe customization |
Crafts footwear with silent-step enchantments or glitch-phase soles |
64 |
Conspiracy theory blogging |
Decodes nonsensical floor plans and predicts administrator AI behavior |
65 |
Bike repair |
Turns broken desk chairs into rideable escape pods with limited flight capability |
66 |
Horror movie marathoning |
Unshaken by apparitions and adept at predicting third-act trap reversals |
67 |
Flash fiction writing |
Summons micro-narratives that alter room logic or confuse AI narrators |
68 |
Craft cocktail mixing |
Combines vending machine ingredients into mood-enhancing or anti-anxiety tonics |
69 |
Feng Shuei Enthusiast |
Creates calming safe zones immune to surveillance and stress-based curses |
70 |
Time-lapse photography |
Captures anomalies too fast or slow for the naked eye and reveals hidden timelines |
71 |
Coin collecting |
Identifies enchanted currency and office tokens with latent telepass enchantments |
72 |
Ceramic Throwing |
Throws and fires small clay constructs that distract or serve for one turn |
73 |
Mushroom foraging |
Identifies edible vs. psychic fungi in the copier-room biome |
74 |
Hiking |
Maintains stamina through hours of corridor traversal and dodges floor collapses instinctively |
75 |
Reality TV bingeing |
Can predict personality collapse in coworkers and monster NPCs alike |
76 |
Custom PC building |
Overclocks haunted terminals for brief bursts of unsanctioned processing power |
77 |
Stage magic |
Performs sleight of hand that tricks biometric scanners and minor magical guardians |
78 |
Ballroom Dancing |
Dexteritynd Fancy Footwork |
79 |
Board Gaming |
Treats every room like a tactical map, often finding "player actions" where others see scenery. |
80 |
Language Learning |
May unintentionally activate locked systems simply by pronouncing forgotten onboarding chants. |
81-82 |
Military Reservist / Militia |
Keeps calm during lockdown drills, interdimensional breaches, or mid-meeting ambushes. |
83 |
Home Repair and DIY Construction / Renovation |
Knows which walls are structural, which aren't; sometimes the best way thru a maze is knocking holes in walls and crawling thru. |
84-85 |
Resolve: {SNTCE(Roll on {Roll on "Codename Generator Nouns"})} Resolve: {Kids|Scouts|Boys|Girls} Resolve: {Troop|Squad} Roll 1d10Roll 1d9Roll 1d9 Resolve: {Leader|Vice Captain|Supervisor|Parent Coordinator} |
Has any number of badges in office and wilderness survival. Often Be Prepared With Proper Notice! |
| d6 | Result |
|---|---|
1-6 |