D100 What are the goblins doing? (d100)

d100 Result

1

Cooking rats over a fire

2

Crafting weapons (why are they rubbing feces on the blades?)

3

Rummaging through a cupboard

4

Lurking in the bushes

5

Building a shelter

6

Eating food off the table

7

Picking on the little goblin

8

Poorly training dogs to ride

9

Ambushing some poor soul

10

Building traps

11

Telling a folk tale or singing a song

12

Running from a greater threat

13

Looking for a new shelter

14

Performing a religious ritual

15

Practicing crude magic

16

Having an intense philosophical debate, but everyone is totally wrong (e.g., whether the moon is made of white bread or sourdough)

17

Collecting teeth

18

Counting rocks

19

Digging a pit

20

Sleeping

21

Scouting out new areas

22

Telling stories with crude puppets

23

Making music by hitting things with sticks

24

Climbing a very tall tree with a bird's nest in it

25

Rummaging through a derelict building

26

Herding a flock of chickens

27

Having a belching contest

28

Brewing a strange horrid smelling grog

29

Beating berries and feces in a mortar and pestle to make dye for war paint

30

Jousting with sticks

31

Listening to their storyteller relate an apparently hilarious tale

32

Weight training with small rocks

33

Playing what might be a sport? There's a lot of shouting and waving sticks, and a lot of serious discussion

34

Taking a group mud bath

35

Carving strange symbols on a tree (which end up being stick figures.)

36

Carelessly wielding a powerful and/or magic weapon

37

Trying to reach a chicken nest to collect eggs

38

Creating some form of machinery

39

Worshipping a really odd bush

40

It's party time! It's the goblin holiday of Bone Whacking, where the object is to use bones to whack your friends

41

Trying to lure travelers into an ambush using a pair of goblins poorly disguised as distressed dainty small women

42

Testing if they can use big leaves to fly by jumping off a cliff while holding them

43

The biggest one is pushing one of the smaller ones towards a pile of books and scrolls, while the others laugh at another goblin who is running around screaming and on fire while still holding the scroll he opened

44

playing with a child's toy

45

picking their teeth/toes/ears with cutlery

46

building a tool

47

torturing a small animal

48

about to burn a very large stack of things

49

sharpening their teeth

50

Attempting to build a shrine to their deity, but they keep tearing it down and starting over because no one can agree what the deity looks like

51

Taking orders, another more powerful creature like a hobgoblin is there

52

Trading, two bands of goblins are present

53

Bullying a smaller creature

54

Crafting poisons for weapons or traps

55

Digging new tunnels for the warren

56

Eating a dead cat

57

Fighting each other over a scrap of food

58

Hauling items from a hunt or raid back to their warrens

59

Ransacking a (building, room)

60

Setting fire to something

61

Swarming a peasant

62

Throwing prisoners into a sacrificial pit

63

Threatening a rival group of goblins

64

Collecting feces to use in traps

65

Dancing

66

Collecting snails for soup

67

Making "human clothes" (poorly)

68

Stealing clothes

69

 Scouting deep into town wearing little girls' dresses

70

Singing, which to non-goblin ears sounds rather raucous

71

Riding a dog

72

Cow tipping

73

Four of them inside a coat knocking on a door trying to get in

74

Singing together (definitely not the same song)

75

Carrying a large rock

76

Drinking all the ale

77

Drawing an obscene picture of the homeowner's wife on the wall

78

Eating a dead goblin

79

Removing the floorboards

80

Hiding under a bed

81

Making a tunnel in the wall

82

Stealing all the spoons

83

Pouring out all the salt onto the ground

84

Releasing the farm animals

85

Throwing rocks at the chickens

86

Pouring oil on the floors (going to start a fire)

87

Pissing on an orphan in the street

88

Planting a letter on a desk (none of it is legible and there are stick people with large bosoms drawn on it circled with hearts)

89

Carrying a staff (is it magic?)

90

Wielding a pan

91

Making armor out of pots and pans for other goblins

92

Playing a flute they have crafted out of a reed. Summons a swarm of rats.

93

Smearing feces in the salted pork

94

Vomiting

95

Carrying a crudely made bomb (Roll a D6, on an odd number the bomb explodes in its hands. Test Agility DR 14; on a fail you are hit with a chunk of goblin meat. Does not count as a curse as the goblin died.)

96

Eating fingers off a severed limb

97

Wearing a huge silly hat

98

Making a cape out of human skin from a nearby corpse

99

Spanking the bare bottom of a peasant they have trapped

100

Brushing their very long beard they have poorly glued to their face