Mostly Silly Magic Items (d100)

This random table comes from u/Oyster_Stu from his post at r/d100. From the post:

If you're running a goofy campaign and just want fun items for your PCs, check out this list my brother and I made. Some of them are practical, but most were designed for fun. Some descriptions are intentionally left out for you tinker with. We've added some DCs to certain items that would definitely break the game, but hey, that's up to you!

Unfortunately there are a few entries are missing, so in order to keep the table a d100 but accurately reflect the source material, the missing entries re-roll the table.

d100 Result

1

The Hypnotize Glasses - charms the first person you see into doing one action once

2

The Goat's Bladder Whoopie Cushion - magic goats bladder which produces a loud fart noise which can be heard up to 100 feet

3

The Kitty Foot - fur moccasins that grant the wearer silent footfall for 2 movements

4

Lucky Charm - grants advantage one time only on one roll of the user's choice

5

Nerf Hurter Angel Dust - negative 1 point to damage taken for the duration

6

Pygmy Man Poison Dart - halves movement of target speed for 3 rounds

7

Heady Mead - increases charisma by 2, decreases dexterity and intelligence by 1, lasts for 10 minutes

8

Smoke Ball - creates a 10ft billow of black smoke. The smoke is magical but can be dissipated with another spell. Works instantaneously

9

Call Me Caitlyn- on a failed wisdom saving throw, the character wearing the wig passes off as unremarkable/unnoticed/someone else

10

The Stone of Specific Gravity - the holder or item it's placed on/in becomes immovable for 30 seconds

11

Pinocchio's Bane/ Jiminy Cricket's Conscious - the spell causes the target's nose to grow on any lie, and causes disadvantage on wisdom saving rolls for the conversation

12

Poultice of the Unyielding Sphincter - causes a huge fart capable of clearing a room for 30 seconds within a 30 ft radius

13

Rocky's Music Box - must be prepared before battle, the owner listens to their pump up jam and gains a +1 to all attack rolls for the duration

14

The Red Eye Filter - doubles speed for 2 movements

15

Re-roll

16

The Sinew of No Slack - a rope which binds two creatures or objects on a failed strength saving throw, DC 17 strength

17

Psychogenic Illness - causes acute shared mental delusion in 60 ft radius for 1 minute of the caster's choosing. DC 20 wisdom

18

Primal Musk - a stinky paste worn by the user, any hostile animals is now neutral and any neutral animal is now friendly for 5 minutes

19

The Gilly Boy - instant gills for 1 minute

20

Channel Bill Quinlan - one facsimile of a weather element, once only, highly convincing, 30 seconds

21

Share the Load - a spectral, shimmering Samwise Gamgee appears to aid in the lifting or moving of any heavy object, the DC class is halved with Sam's help.

22

Re-roll

23

Diving Rod - always points to the true exit

24

The Prunes of Preoccupation - causes the eater diarrhea within 1 minute

25

Re-roll

26

Diminishing Latter - you conjure a latter or staircase one time whose length is double your normal speed. Disappears immediately after use or if user steps off the conjuration

27

The Note of Juicy Gossip - a magical piece of paper that, when folded, contains a message or bit of gossip which replaces the verbal portion of a charisma roll and adds 1 to that charisma roll.

28

The Fabolous Chain - gold chain which, on a role of 70% or higher on a grants the wearer +1 to charisma rolls

29

Benedict Arnold - incites one enemy npc to attack a comrade for one attack

30

The Peace Pipe - once in the middle of battle during the user's turn, they may offer the Peace Pipe to their foe in the form of one charisma roll. 1-5 are considered critical failures, DC for this roll is very high (DM's discretion)

31

Delusions of Grandeur - conjure a spectral being or item. Roll 1d20 to determine how scary the conjured vision is.

32

Re-roll

33

Johnny Tremaine's Crucible - crucible of molten silver with just enough silver to immobilize one hand or equivalent area

34

Coin of Pickling - cursed coin, when touched turns the holders fingers into pickles. Fingers have pickle stats. Fingers return to normal in Roll 1d4

days

35

Animal Transfiguration. User has likeness of a random animal for 30 seconds. Player may wait until a mage can enchant the scroll with the power of a specific animal for 50 gold.

36

Cargo Pants of Extreme Abyss. Wearer may place one item 2x the size of the user into pants

37

Fragrance of Imminent Allure. 1+ to Charisma rolls against opposite sex.

38

Barbaric Fizzy Soda. Upon drinking soda, user produces one Belch of Ages to knock back one target one 20 feet away from Belcher.

39

Monster in a Jar. User may break jar and roll (1d8 to determine CR) for a monster hostile to all in sight. Creature always drops potion good for temporary +2 to one ability score, as well as one magic item.

40

Rosetta Stone. Holder may decipher one foreign text.

41

Pen of Forgery. User may recreate any document previously seen.

42

Patriotic Flag. Waving the flag grants 1 teammate first slot for Initiative.

43

Power of Attorney. Grants user one mid-combat sidebar with teammates.

44

Jewelers Loupe. Viewing one item through loupe will reveal origin, value, magical properties.

45

Potion of Time. User may reverse one turn during combat. The reversed action must return to the actor and the turn must begin again.

46

Blight of Leprosy. User may infect themselves with Leprosy incurring Roll 1d4 damage every 5 minutes for 30 minutes, causing all NPCs to avoid player.

47

Ambrosia of Sweet Moves. Grants user 1+ to performance rolls for 1 minute

48

Street Urchin's Glove. Wearer may pickpocket one item successfully from any character under favorable conditions, eg, busy street, distraction, loud crowd, being seduced

49

Voice of Celine Dion. Completely enchant all onlookers in a 60ft radius for 30 seconds. PC must actually sing for this effect to work.

50

Volatile Vomitous. Caster may cause one target to vomit every time they try to speak for 30 seconds on failed Constitution save.

51

Endless Gullet. Grants user ability to drink large bodies of water and retain water for 5 minutes. Restricts movement to ΒΌ. User may also release any amount of water for purposes at hand.

52

Eyes on the Prize. Allows to user to place eyeballs anywhere for any amount of time, rendering the user blind, able to see only the view from the eyes.

53

Real Genius. One magical popcorn kernel that, when thrown, miraculously pops into a great mass of popcorn able to fill an Olympic swimming pool.

54

Onionize. Player casts this spell at one target making them cry for 30 seconds.

55

Practice Makes Perfect. Target, friend or foe, must repeat their most recent action for 2 two turns

56

Gift of the Familiar. Appear very familiar to one NPC for 10 minutes. May be applied to another character for 5 minutes.

57

Thieve's Wisdom. Pick one lock.

58

Trapper's Acumen. Disarm one trap.

59

Ram Jam. Grow the horns of a ram capable of battering a barred door but player incurs 1d8 migraine damage.

60

Fragile Compass. Points in direction of desired location, i.e. to the nearest door leading to said location, etc. Breaks immediately.

61

Claw Game. User is transported into magical game room where the current environment is laid out it a giant claw game machine. Any item may be taken but will appear in user hands when the user is transported back to reality. Objects being carried have a minimum DC of 16

62

Prestigurgitation. Player may eat one teammate that can be regurgitated later. Player being eaten must hold their breath, in real life, for duration of Prestigurgitation. Player using Prestigurgitation may expel eaten player at any time or until the eaten player runs out of breath. Upon losing breath the eaten player is expelled immediately.

63

Hubba Bubba Balloon. When blowing a bubble with this magical watermelon Hubba Bubba bubble gum, a player or item may float upward one full range until bubble is burst. Bursting the bubble while very inflated creates a sticky mess which requires a DC 15 strength save or be restrained for any create within 5 feet

64

Blowin' Cotton. Player expels magical plume of smoke containing secret message for one character.

65

Porky's Porthole of Peering. Allows player to see through any obstruction for one look.

66

Miraculous Box of Cake. A magical box that gives one piece of any type of desired cake every time it's opened.

67

Strongman's Barbell. Small barbell shaped pin Any strength DC is halved. Breaks after one use

68

Red Hot Nickel Ball. Poop one Red Hot Nickel Ball. Player takes 1d6 burn damage. Stays red hot for 10 minutes

69

Rare Dozen. Lay one dozen eggs. 1+ to HP each egg

70

Broken Hour Glass. When thrown on opponent, that opponent loses one turn on a hit.

71

Polyglott. Speak and understand any language for one conversation.

72

Perfect Fool's Gold. Allows player to forge an item that appears, weighs, and feels like real gold. Only destruction of the item reveals it's true nature.

73

Selective Listener. Allows player to ignore 2 points of one target's AC for 2 turns

74

Doris Day's Didgeridoo of Dreams. Player may play one tune on the Didgeridoo of Dreams putting to sleep any NPC on a failed Constitution saving throw. A successful throw renders NPC drowsy, slows speed by half

75

Self-Catapult. Throws user up to 120 ft in any direction. User must take 2d10 fall damage upon failed dexterity saving throw of DC 12.

76

Popping Glitter Bomb - use/casting time of bonus action, causes targets within 10 feet disadvantage on dexterity saving throws for 3 rounds

77

Flights of Fancy: commutes the mind and spirit of a bird into the target creature for 1 minute or 30 on a failed wisdom saving throw, DC 17

78

Glove of Seeing - A glove that, when worn and holding a torch/light source in that hand, only gives light to the holder

79

Goblet of Purification - any liquid poured into this goblet becomes pure water. If a good aligned cleric or paladin is holding the goblet, the water becomes holy water

80

Sheriff's Badge - a badge that morphs into the official crest/emblem of the local municipality when shown

81

Snout of the Dog - a spell that transforms the user's nose into a dog's about, able to detect minute traces of scents with high accuracy for 30 minutes. Cannot be dispelled early

82

Julia's Apron - the wearer of this apron may cook with unfit ingredients and make an edible, healthful meal.

83

Dream Catcher - the user holds the dream catcher when they sleep, casting their astral projection to keep watch in the night. The projection must remain within 15 feet of the user's material form.

84

Steve Harvey Jaws - false teeth able to bite through most common metals. 5 uses before they break

85

Fantastical Foil Hat - wearer is immune to Charms of Enchantment, resistant to psychic damage

86

Poisoned Rubber Lips - rubber lips coated with neurotoxin that dissolve with a kiss

87

The Broach of Bleach - a broach which disallows the wearer's clothes to get dirty or stained

88

Serpentine Bracer - bronze arm bracer which looks like a coiled snake that can move and be used to strangle others. Always looks bronze

89

Weather Girl's Revenge - it's raining men! Literally. A hail of corpses rains down in a 50 ft radius from a point you choose

90

Bag of Body Parts - just your average inter-dimensional bag with mixed body parts belonging to any number of assorted creatures bits. Kinda gross. Always new parts.

91

Mask of the New Moon - this mask reverts any were-beings who see this mask as if it were a new moon

92

Pelt of Deep Shadows - a black fur pelt of a Hell Hound/Yeth which casts shadows dark enough to hide in. Any creature Tiny to Medium behind the wearer can attempt to hide in its shadows. If a creature succeeds on a Hide check they cannot be seen, even if another creature looks behind. Only when the wearer moves can a hidden creature been seen with a Perception check

93

Scourge of Squirrels - a hoard of Squirrels bursts forth from a thrown acorn and attacks one target. The group attacks as one unit

94

Blood Stone - soaking this stone in fallen enemies and then holding it will restore 3d6 points of healing 1/day. Coincidentally can determine blood type

95

Ring of Janus - the wearer of this ring's face doubles and appears on the back of their head, letting them see forwards and backwards. The effect ends when the ring is removed

96

Shrieve's Tuning Fork - if placed on a wall while vibrating the fork will transmit any sound or speaking that is happening behind that wall with perfect clarity. If used as a weapon, deals 2d4 thunder damage

97

the Dubious Beard - A convincing strap on beard that can hide one small object underneath, up to the size of a typical dagger

98

Wizard's Krak - a bump of magical crack that adds 15 additional feet of movement, +1 to Initiative, and magical sleep has no effect on the user. The user suffers a -2 to perception while high.

99

the Pocket Bard - a magical book that keeps track of your adventures but embellishes your stories for you

100

Sinister Lemon Drops - a tin of lemon candies which slowly erode memories. Finishing a candy will produce fogginess of the mind. Finishing 5 erases 3 childhood memories. Finishing the whole tin will render a person void of all memory.