Company bureaucrats you grudgingly have to interact with (d10)

from Mothership - The Hive-mind discord channel

d10 Result


Auditor B-08 (You can call him Bob for short!). An android who has come to inspect your ship to see how well it holds to company procedures ranging from safe cargo storage to hyperspace jump protocol. Gives friendly-ish reminders to stick to compliance upon seeing even a minor infraction of code. Skin and suit are a water-repellent and heat-resistant synthetic composite specifically designed to repel hot coffee thrown into his face (that, may I remind you, is also an infraction that must be resolved through an appropriate HR representative!)


Mx. Bland Behind a high grade avatar holoscreen (The Mx. Bland Mk IV) it's hard to say much, but they are prompt, their suits a stunningly oppressive grey and shoes worth only as much as 1/3 a marine powersuit. Bland is harried and seems unhappy, but they are efficient and always have money on offer. A fixed amount, seemingly picked at random, though they insist it's the actuarially determined fair wage plus 10%. Bland needs things done for their Insurer/Firm/Syndicate/Corp/Free Navy. Bland is pleasant and understanding but Bland has no leeway, is disposable, knows no more details and can hire someone dumber but meaner if you won't take the job. Be good to Bland and as they grow, so will you...


Complaint Box - A black box with a red line across one face and a keypad on the top. Type in your complaint and the box will explain in a clear and concise manner why your complaint is stupid and you shouldn't have bothered submitting it.


Mr. Snrub An old, balding man who shows up after completed contracts or windfalls, and offers to assist with "investing" your pay, or offers a follow-on job that seems to run counter to the last job. You could SWEAR he's just the same executive from the previous job, but wearing an almost definitely false handlebar moustache.


Ms. Bosun.  A lackey from the financial dept., handing out new guidelines and goals for operational costs and efficiency.  Will give not-so-helpful tips on how to meet them, or will state mandatory compliance if you fail to meet the goals often enough.  You don't need all that fuel for a simple mining expedition, do you?


Sir. Sir is officious, unfailingly polite, and utterly unflappable. Her jimmies are never rustled. She wears a suit sharp enough to cut, always perfect shoes, no matter the occasion. She delivers horrible news, always, but with such consummate pleasantness and absolutely sincere empathy that it creates disorienting cognitive dissonance. She says she's very very sorry, and worst of all, she means it.


Dammit Janet Janet is a pleasant, smiling youth of about twenty-five, with almost eerily wholesome aryan good looks. They're the type of kid fiction writers unfailingly describe as 'coltish' and 'winsome'. Janet is generous. Suspiciously and unfailingly generous, with time, money, help, even a listening ear. If asked why, Janet freely and cheerfully explains that the idea is to create an enormous emotional and material debt in the PCs, so that when they're called upon to repay the favour, they can't possibly refuse.


Reynolds means well, and tries their best, but is just incompetent. Work clothes have a minor, but embarrassing (and fresh) stain. Orders and paperwork are almost filled out correctly, but have minor errors and if not checked thoroughly will lead to complications later. Hated by their boss, any good they try to do will cause resistance further down the line. Tries ever so hard to act in good faith, but causes no end of unwitting inconveniences. And, no, sorry, their manger is not available right now, but is there anything else they can do to help?


Beezy/Buzzy/Miteland - A wealthy scion of some corporate dynasty - 'Miteland' or Buzzy, sometimes Beezy is a blathering twit. A very influential, important twit whose blathering needs to be taken seriously if one knows what's good for one's bank account and/or health. Beezy is not an entirely incompetent manager, some amount of the copious education crammed into Beezy's skull seems to have taken, but Beezy tends to become fixated: on long stale opportunities, vague rumors and perceived slights. This can be played to a crew's advantage, because money isn't really a concern to Beezy, but it's also dangerous Beezy is short tempered, vengeful and entirely unreasonable.


K.M. Visser, the corp's general counsel, is gregarious, has excellent taste, and is really fun to drink with — at least until he gets drunk. Then he'll start gloating about how he convinced the governors of Persephone VI to fund the construction of a major corp spaceport, promising they'd become a wealthy hub in a new shipping route. The route never materialized, and the construction sent the colony so deeply into debt that, per the agreement, they had to not only cede the spaceport, but also enlist their entire population into debt bondage to the corp. The colony is now a massive strip mine, and the spaceport ships ore and gems offworld. "Of course," he says, "there never was going to be a new shipping route." K.M. Visser smiles and raises his glass, showing you his wedding ring with its prominent blue Persephone diamond.