Once a Bucket of Cleaning, this device was used to quickly clean items using prestidigitation...at least until it was discovered the bucket was swallowing socks. Unfortunately, this was part of a master plan by Emperor Hempleduke who has spent centuries stealing just one sock every time this bucket was used until he amassed an army.
Local repair wizards managed to stop the uprising by turning the bucket off and then on again, but in the process the Bucket of Cleaning no longer served its intended purpose. Instead, the bucket now transports any item or person who enters it to a random location in a random dimension. The repair wizards began using it to get rid of anything they didn’t want, dubbing it The Bucket of F**k It.
The Bucket of F**k It remained in the possession of the repair wizards until it was discovered they had been using it to hide bodies. The wizards were promptly tossed in the Bucket of F**k It and the problem was out of sight and out of mind.
Some say every time a sock goes missing mid-cleaning, you can hear Emperor Hempleduke laughing from his Throne of Iron Socks as he plots his next and final move.
| d20 | Result |
|---|---|
1 |
A squalid little room in the fifth level of the Laundry Dungeon of the Gods, upon the plane of Arcadia, lit only by an old sock dipped in tallow and set aflame. |
2 |
The bottom of the sea, surrounded by singing crabs. |
3 |
Somewhere in the third intestine of an incontinent MegaDinosaur, in the dark jungles of Ixichunpronouncible. |
4 |
A verdant oasis in the middle of the Desert of Flame, populated by ninja assassin nymphs. |
5 |
The fetid cellar of the Mucky Beggar, a tavern in the dwarf town of Ore. |
6 |
Cowering in a hollowed-out tree stump somewhere in the Elemental Plane of Ghouls. |
7 |
A flat spot, no more than an inch wide, atop the Demon's Spear, a spire of jagged volcanic rock and obsidian a thousand miles high. |
8 |
At a table of rotten wood, where a group of goblinoid gods are playing cards with a Deck of Many Things. |
9 |
An abandoned halfling warship in the middle of an icy sea. |
10 |
The bedchambers of the Demon Queen of Nightmares. |
11 |
An ancient elven cellar, filled with fine wines in crystalline casks, sealed off from the rest of the world by an earthquake long ago. |
12 |
In the branches of a colossal gallows tree, haunted by the spirits of the hill giants who where hung from it. |
13 |
Falling through a vast expanse of nothingness, towards a distant toothed maw. |
14 |
A beggar's hut, crafted from mud and the broken shields of a king's army, deep in the Forest of the Forsaken. |
15 |
The Meow Meow Meow, a celestial tavern entirely run by angelic cats. |
16 |
Somewhere in the middle of the Elemental Plane of Caltrops. |
17 |
The ruins of the Citadel of the Vampire Dragon, nearby a colossal wooden stake impaled into the rubble. |
18 |
In the sausagewerks of Ecoli the orcish butcher. |
19 |
In a secret lair beneath the streets of the Great City of Gearhaven, where a spiteful tinsmith named Varius labors over a lead golem. |
20 |
Roll twice. |