D100 Failed Careers (INTO THE ODD) (d100)

d100 Career: Notes:

1

Academic Debater:

Somebody must argue the positions that nobody cares about.

2

Gutter Wretch:

The bottom of the barrel.
Bastion’s crust.

3

Curiocentric Collector:

An entire life spent looking at dusty things and squinting at books.
It’s time to get out there for yourself.

4

Trench Survivor:

You survived a Trench Battle with little to write home about.

Except for that one thing you found in a strange tunnel.

5

Debt Collector:

Someone paid you a pittance to look intimidating in dark alleyways.

If need be you shed some blood, but there’s no extra pay.

6

Dead-Shoresman:

You died, but found a way back from where you went.

Nobody believes you, and everyone you once knew is long gone.

7

Criminal Bureaucrat:

The laws of Bastion are written in such a way that every possible crime has a loophole.

People pay you to perform crimes, legally.

8

Sanctioned Executioner:

You’ve done your time on firing squads, and now you’re allowed to do a little freelance work.

9

Fringe Investigator:

Everything must be revealed, from petty crime to the secrets of the cosmos.

10

Disinherited Socialite:

Whatever happened between you and your family, you’re out of the will for good.

You took what you could.

11

Professional Verminator:

Every type of animal can be found in some corner of Bastion.

When they are unwanted, you go to work.

12

Lost Expeditioneer:

You’ve been on a treasure hunting Expedition before.

You were the only survivor.

13

Wall Warden:

Bastion has rings of walls all the way to its centre, wherever that is.

You are both their warden and resident.

14

Professional Gambler:

You know how to play well honestly, and how to cheat even better.

15

Integrated Alien:

You came to Bastion a long time ago, passing for human.

Under a Foreign Star. Reached by Sea or Underground.

16

Thieving Under-Whaler:

The biggest catches are deep in ocean and in ground.

One catch can make a fortune for the captain, but you got a pittance.

17

Travelling Show-Person:

Stunts and tricks are your game.

You’ve got a final trick up your sleeve if you start to lose the crowd.

18

Gang Whip:

Internal threats can tear a gang apart.

Enforcers keep things in order.

19

Qualified Deconstructor:

Before the new can arise, the old must come down.

Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it.

20

Street Judge:

Bastion has so many courtrooms that the whole city it effectively legal ground.

With questionable credentials, you dealt with street quarrels.

21

Urchin Pack:

Clinging together is your only hope for survival.

22

Star Blessed:

You don’t just worship the Stars.

One of them has gifted you.

23

Barricade Sapper:

Every day a revolution, another barricade.

Civil flow design demands that somebody break them up.

24

Human Unionist:

The world is full of strange and powerful things.

None of them deserve our worship.

25

Liberal Engineer:

We sit on the spear-tip of modernity.

There’s always the risk of blood.

26

Masked Horrorist:

Horrors rise from the Underground.

We must make a friend of fear, and scare them back down.

27

Rollocker Club Alumni:

Good times. Fair play. School spirit!

28

Buckwud-Legionnaire:

The future holds only darkness.

BACKWARDS! NEVER FORWARDS!

29

Contract-Castaway:

Putting flags on islands isn’t enough, so you’ve been paid a petty fee to live alone on a desolate rock.

The years have been dull, so you return to the mainland.

30

Repressed Psionicist:

You can’t hold it in any longer.

31

Unlicensed Amputator:

Not trained in the finesse stuff.

Major structural work only.

32

Polar Bounty Hunter:

The endless polar mists are a great place to hide.

You did your best to bring the lost home, one way or another.

33

Mockery:

An imitation of life in wood, clay, and felt. Children love you, animals hate you.

You don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, or love, but still feel the drives.

34

Prize Breeder:

You had a small kennel of finely bred animals.

Now you’re down to your last breeding pair.

35

Failed Citizen:

None of the Failed Cities could keep up with Bastion.

You left your pathetic home for the real deal.

36

Urban Safarist:

The human condition makes for fascinating viewing for those too rich to have worries.

37

Lock Toller:

Canal locks charge a toll, but nobody knows who’s supposed to do that.

You were part of a small group that held a lock for a while.

38

Repurposed Augmental:

Mechanically Adapted for a purpose you were unable to fulfil.

You found a job somewhere else.

39

Noble-in-Waiting:

The chances of you actually inheriting your title are so low that you decided to take your fate into your own hands.

40

Vault-Cracker:

Most vaults are old enough that nobody can agree who owns them.

41

Revolutionary Duellist:

You are the sword tip of change in Bastion.

42

Newspaper Intern:

You were technically paid to write technically-non-lies.

It never really got off the ground.

43

Rural Tax Collector:

You’ve spent more time than you care on the roads of Deep Country, squinting at obsolete currencies.

44

Associated Burglar:

You burgled only sanctioned properties.

You don’t fully understand the legality.

45

Retail Therapist:

You help people spend money you have no hope of ever earning.

46

Apprentice Sweep:

Your master died, and took your terrible career prospects along with them.

47

Shock Trooper:

Your shock-academy training was so intense that the academy closed the day after your graduation.

Now there is no mission, but you still have your gear.

48

Urbalist:

The walls of Bastion have a language of their own.

The right ones reveal secrets, with the help of your herbs.

49

Tunnel-Clearer:

Despite its lack of regard for time and space,

construction work on the Underground continues.

50

Science Mystic:

The past was nothing but lies.

There is hidden truth in these modern ways.

51

Front of House Host:

You were the face of a company.

Now you’re a face without a company.

52

Critter Catcher:

The gutters and drainpipes of Bastion are home to every creature you can imagine.

You always wanted to study them all.

53

Practising Pharmacist:

A truly modern profession, and you’re almost qualified to do it.

54

Roof Crawler:

There’s a lot of important work that goes on across the rooftops of Bastion.

Yours is the more shadowy sort.

55-100

Petty Officer:

You held an office of low position, but were moved to a Special Petty Officer position.

Essentially you kept your badge but don’t get paid and have no authority.